I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize