I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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