Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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