Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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