My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
is it fun? or sober?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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