I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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