Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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