whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
