Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
