And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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