The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
