he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
