im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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