Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
