don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
