I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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