his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize