Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
