Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
