I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
