All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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