She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
