my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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