Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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