Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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