If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
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