chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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