Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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