OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
pop tarts are not kleenex
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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