What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
