Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
