? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
