If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
