i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize