Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
