Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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