Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize