tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
