her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
