she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
