someone get that fucking seahorse.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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