So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I pour the whiskey from now on
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
