I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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