so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
