STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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