Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
