You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
