I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
