Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
