I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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