he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
