I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
