Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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