I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
