someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
