He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
