your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize