i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
