I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
