I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
