I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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