census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
